07.15.10 at 1:12 p.m.
Virginia Oxford

Extreme Make-Over Theater Edition

Hi, folks! Well, it’s been a little slow ’round here in these parts for the past few weeks, what with the performing arts season ending and all. It’s been quiet without our audiences roaming about and filling our seats and the silence emanating from our dance and opera studios is deafening. Deafening! However, that doesn’t mean we’re all just sitting around looking at Cute Overload and eating Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers. No, we’re still hard at work here at the Wortham Center. This down time is the perfect opportunity for us to do a little DIY work…OK, we’re not actually doing it ourselves; we hire people for that…but we’re still not sitting around looking at Cute Overload and eating Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers. We save that for our lunch hour only. Mmm, Goldfish crackers…

Anyway, one of our major projects happening right now is refurbishing our Brown stage back to its original condition. And no, we didn’t just go to Home Depot to get some wood slats and stain. It’s all complicated engineering stuff that I couldn’t possibly explain since I’m just a lowly event coordinator with a mere theater degree. I can tell you though that the stage has to be bouncy for the ballerinas (bouncy being one of those technical terms, of course) and strong enough for those gy-normous sets that HGO creates for its elaborate operas. So, how, you ask, can a stage be bouncy AND strong at the same time? Well, I have no idea, people; I’m not an engineer. But I assure you it can be done and is being done as we speak. So whilst the ballerinas rest their feet and the opera singers rest their vocal cords, we’re hard at work making sure everything will be in tip-top shape for them upon their return next season. We may even save some Goldfish crackers for them…but probably not.

We’re also installing a brand spanking new wheelchair lift in our Founders’ Salon. OUT with the old rickety one (which sounded like the Death Star garbage compactor whenever we ran it, by the way) and IN with a new, sleek, modern ride (which looks like something you’d see on the Starship Enterprise, for reals). Speaking of wheelchair lifts, Jones Hall is also installing its very first lift! We’ll be twinsies! When Jones Hall was built in 1966, stairs were apparently all the rage…seriously, have you been? It’s like an M. C. Escher drawing in there. But now, thanks to the miracles of modern mechanics, our patrons who have difficulty with stairs can join the rest of the crowds in the public food area. Yay! M&Ms for everyone! 

So, there you have it, folks…our summer theater makeovers in a nutshell. It’s like an episode of "Extreme Makeover Home Edition," but with a lot less crying.

jones hall, wortham